John Kasich: The man who loves to eat

This man knows how to enjoy food

A few days ago, Ohio Governor John Kasich dropped out of the Republican primary. Now, since I promised when I started this blog to stay away from politics, I shall say nothing of that sort about the man except what I have said already: That he is probably the best Republican candidate for UFO disclosure (though Donald Trump's blatant conspiracy-mongering may give him a run for his money).

The purpose of this blogpost is, instead, to celebrate one of Kasich's non-political virtues: His voracious appetite. Throughout his campaign, the governor showed himself to have by far the biggest stomach of anyone who ran for president (even Chris Christie). And since I, like Kasich, am not only from Ohio (though he was born in Pennsylvania), but also possessed of a black hole of a stomach, I would like to take a moment to celebrate my comrade-in-forks-and-knives. For whatever you think of Kasich, he knows how to eat.

Perfect form

Kasich displayed his appetite on numerous occasions throughout the campaign. But his powers may have peaked when he visited a deli in the Bronx on April 7 in the lead up to the New York primary. Thus did Business Insider describe Kasich's diet there:

...Kasich visited a food market on Arthur Ave in the Bronx. He sat down for what the owners thought would be a brief stop. But he had other plans.First, Kasich ate two plates of spaghetti bolognese, a sandwich with mozzarella, pickles, salami, provolone, and hot peppers.

As a butcher behind the counter named Mike tried to take away his plate of spaghetti, Kasich protested, asking for his plate back.
He then ordered pasta fagioli with cheese and tried some of the antipasto that deli owner David Grecco left on his plate. Kasich turned down the cannoli, though a staffer took some of them to go.
Kasich paused as he tasted the pasta fagioli.
"Mamma mia," he quipped.
"If I lived in the Bronx, I'd eat here every day," Kasich said. ["We'd like that" one of the deli's owners gleefully replied.]

Damn straight. There's a man who loves to eat. 

Alas, perhaps the trough of Kasich's eating career also came in New York. Many people, local and statewide, mocked his attempt there to eat a pizza with a fork. I'll admit, this was a bit of a culinary faux pas. And though I, like Kasich, am from Ohio, I have no clue what part of his Ohio upbringing or background gave him any indication that eating pizza with a fork was a good idea. I spent an entire pre-college life of pizza-eating with nary a fork in sight (the only utensil anywhere near me when I ate pizza was that weird plastic white tripod thing whose purpose has always mystified me); only when I got to college (in Michigan) did I see anyone use a fork to eat pizza, and I scoffed at the practice. In Kasich's defense, however, I'll take him at his word that the pizza was hot. And I'll lightly chastise New Yorkers for being so obsessed with their state that they savage anybody who errs even in the slightest from local custom, especially Midwestern boys like John Kasich. But if we're going to be obsessed with our states, I'll take my governor's side in this eating dispute against self-centered New Yorkers.

I mean, come on. How can you insult someone with such intense concentration?

In the Kasich campaign's final weeks, Donald Trump, one such New Yorker, took to mocking Kasich's eating habits. "I have never seen a human being eat in such a disgusting fashion," Trump said at a rally (he's lucky he's never met me). We'll never know if this criticism, which a born-eater like John Kasich probably took pretty personally, was the reason that Kasich left the race, but it certainly couldn't have helped. If nothing else, it likely made Kasich realize that his presidential run no longer constituted a guilt-and-insult-free way to eat as much as he wanted, which I speculate was the reason he ran in the first place.
 
Indeed, I suggest that Kasich's desire to eat is the proper--maybe the only--lens through which to understand his campaign. He stubbornly stayed in the race because ending it would mean going back to his far more modest Ohio Governor food budgets, being prevented from traveling around the country trying new food, and being stuck with Ohio cuisine. It also helps to explain what may have seemed one of the more tone-deaf remarks of his campaign: when he said that women "left their kitchens" to vote for him. This is not an insult, or a reflection of a mind hopelessly stuck in the past. Rather, from a man who seems to spend most of his time eating, it's either a compliment, or a sign of where he spends most of his time when he's not campaigning or governing anyway. In other words, he thinks everyone spends as much time in the kitchen as he does, not just women.

John Kasich in a kitchen, the room where he probably spends most of his time

And so I salute you, Governor Kasich. Or at least, I salute your stomach. For, like me, you appreciate food, and can't seem to get enough of it. You even ended your campaign on National Hoagie Day. Your campaign greased the pan for other Stomach-Americans like yourself (and me?) to run for president and not be ashamed of eating while they do. Forget Donald Trump and New Yorkers obsessed with their state. You do you, and I'll do me (hey, maybe we should pig out together sometime! I wonder who would eat more...). There's nothing wrong with that--so long as you (and I) manage to avoid sinful excess.