My Triple 10k Autumn

Trophy from winning the MCM 10k, which began my triple 10k autumn. Yes, I probably could kill someone with it

One of the strangest things about trying to be a serious runner solo is making my own "season." For every year of my life between 2006 and 2014, fall was a schedule of races I had nothing to do with; I just had to show up at them (and often I was driven there!).

But as a now 25-year-old post-collegiate in denial, I get to make up my own schedule. And after spending winter-spring 2017 training for a half-marathon, summer-fall 2017 training for a marathon, and winter-spring 2018 training for a half-marathon, I decided I wanted to drop down to lower distances again, especially with another marathon--Boston 2019--looming. Ideally, I might even PR in some of them. So this fall, I signed up first for a 5-miler and a 5k in September.

Looking at my October-November, though, I made a bold, potentially risky decision: I would run 3 10ks, that old collegiate staple, culminating in the Cincinnati Thanksgiving Day Race, which I have run every year since 2014. Yet describing the races as being in the October-November corridor is a bit misleading, as they were actually even more proximate: October 28, November 11, and November 22. This is a level of race proximity rigor I arguably never even reached in college. How did it go for me? Pretty well, I'd say. Herewith a summary of each race.

1) October 28: Marine Corps 10k (results)

Why do race winners instinctively raise their arms as they win?

Followers of my running career may recall that I ran the Marine Corps Marathon last fall, coming in 15th with a 2:34:29 in my marathon debut (full summary here). But since I dedicated this fall to shorter races, I signed up for the Marine Corps 10k on the same day as the marathon instead. The Marine Corps 10k consists of the last 10k of the Marine Corps Marathon--i.e., the worst part of the race. But I had looked up past winning times of the race and discovered that winning it was very realistic for me. I started the race with someone running alongside me, leading me to think I might have some competition. This eventual 2nd place finisher faded by about 5k, however, and I ran all the way to a 1st place finish of 32:16 by myself. While this was not my fastest 10k time (far from it, in fact), I did run the race entirely alone after 5k, on a fairly rough course, a few days after recovering from some kind of illness. It also resulted in this post-race interview. And I later learned that I ran the second-fastest ever time for the race. So I was happy with it.

2) November 11: Veterans' Day 10k (results)

Finishing the Veterans' Day 10k alongside Kyle Wagener, who would beat me by about 9 seconds with actual speed

I chose this race instead of the Fidelity Run for the Parks 10k, held on the same course a week earlier, because I had run that race before, and because 2017's results for it and this race suggested this one would be more competitive. I had modest hopes for this race: to go sub-32, and to get in the top 5. For while I could qualify away my result for the first 10k I did this fall all I wanted, I could not deny the time itself. When this race began, I put myself in the lead pack, and was surprised to find us going sub-5 to start. And then even more surprised to find us go sub-5 again. And again. 4 miles of this race at the lead pack were sub-5, and the last two were only barely over. I faded slightly after 4 miles that fast, but chose about halfway through the next mile not to die. I ended up in 3rd place, less than 10 seconds from 1st, and 2 seconds from 2nd, both of whom outkicked me. My time of 31:03, however, was more than enough consolation. This was a lifetime 10k PR for me by more than 20 seconds, and more than 30 seconds faster than the time I ran at this course in 2016, my previous post-collegiate PR. My only regret about this race is that I lacked a stronger kick that could have gotten me sub-31, but I guess I need something to keep me motivated.

3) Cincinnati Thanksgiving Day Race (results) 

One of the few pictures from the race in which I don't look to be in pain (wearing the St.X singlet since I'm racing local)

I have run this race every year since 2014, in various states of shape: In 2014, at or near peak college shape, I was 4th in a 31:46; in 2016, having been forced by injury to take two of the three days preceding the race off of running, I was 2nd in 32:16; in 2017, less than a month after my first marathon, I was 4th in a 33:07.* This time around, though, I was in arguably better shape than I ever had been, tapered well, and managed to avoid any last-minute mishaps that had marred previous seasons. So I thought I would be capable of challenging this race's 2-time consecutive champion. Alas, it was not meant to be; he is just too good. But I still managed 2nd place in 31:44, 2 seconds faster than my collegiate peak time at this same course. I didn't feel quite at 100 percent at this race, for some reasons beyond my control and some that were, and that makes the result ever-so-slightly disappointing, as I thought I was faster than this. I am still content with it, however, especially as a way to end a pretty rigorous "season" of 10ks.

So, there you have it: My Triple 10k Autumn. As I said, I don't think I ever did something this rigorous in college. And I managed to beat my college 10k PR, something I wasn't sure I would ever do. I also proved to myself and to anyone who doubted me that I can be "fast" if I want to be; despite more than a year-and-a-half of running half-marathons and a marathon, I can still drop down for a quick and dirty 10k if I so desire. Now that I have done this, though, it's time to abandon speed for endurance once more, as I gear up for my Boston Marathon debut in spring 2019. I will most certainly write about that here when it happens, so please stay tuned for future updates on my life between runs.

What if 'The White Album' had been one album? A 50th anniversary inquiry

As you can see, The White Album is white. 

Last Thursday was the 50th anniversary of The Beatles, a.k.a., The White Album, The Beatles' sprawling 1968 double-LP. I took the occasion to record a podcast on The Beatles' musical legacy, which you can listen to here (also embedded below).



For other Beatles content I have produced, see my ode to George Martin, my partial encomium to Yellow Submarine, my case for the Beatles-inspired ELO to be inducted into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame (which they were after I wrote my article, proving the extent of my reach), and my analysis of Princess Leia's Stolen Death Star Plans, a rewrite of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band that makes it tell the story of Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope.

And speaking of The White Album and George Martin: Martin, who made so much of The Beatles' music possible, has said that The White Album should have been one album. Since then, it has become a little parlor game among Beatles' fans to decide which songs to keep to make it a perfect record. Well, I gave it a try for myself. My method here was to remove songs I didn't like, without changing the order, until I got to approximate album length for each side of the hypothetical LP.*

1. "Back in the U.S.S.R." McCartney 2:43

2. "Dear Prudence" Lennon 3:56

3. “Glass Onion" Lennon 2:18

4. "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" McCartney 3:08

5. "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" Harrison 4:45

6. "Happiness Is a Warm Gun" Lennon 2:43

7. "Blackbird" McCartney 2:18

SIDE TWO (22:46)

8. "Rocky Raccoon" McCartney 3:33

9. "Yer Blues" Lennon 4:01

10. "Sexy Sadie" Lennon 3:15

11.  "Helter Skelter" McCartney 4:29

12.  "Revolution” Lennon 4:15

13.  “Good Night” Starr 3:13

TOTAL LENGTH: 44:37

SGT. PEPPER’S LENGTH: 39:52

ABBEY ROAD LENGTH: 47: 23**

And now, to justify my decisions, first for the songs I kept. I did this in a completely arbitrary, subjective fashion, made even more so by the fact that I have no real musical training. First, here's why I kept the songs I kept:

"Back in the U.S.S.R."

In true Beatles fashion, this is a fantastic album opener. But it's also a foray into surf rock, and a parody of the Beach Boys using the imagery and vocabulary of the Soviet Union. I wouldn't dare to get rid of it.

"Dear Prudence"

"Back in the U.S.S.R." segues into this song, so I wouldn't want to get rid of it for that reason alone. But it's also a beautiful, relaxing number that climaxes beautifully, thanks to some drumming by not-Ringo.

“Glass Onion"

Some might argue that this song is The Beatles at their most self-indulgent, referencing their own songs and teasing those who try to find deeper meaning from them. But The Beatles have always been a bit cheeky, and that cheekiness is an indelible part of their appeal. Plus they'd earned a little meta by this point.

"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"

I am not a huge fan of this song, but I just love that The Beatles decided to do some reggae rock in 1968 because they felt like it. So it stays.

"While My Guitar Gently Weeps"

One of George Harrison's best career compositions (not simply as a Beatle), and one of The Beatles' best songs, period, Harrison's heartfelt lyrics and anguished delivery secure it a spot on the perfect White Album. And Eric Clapton's guitar work seals the deal.

"Happiness Is a Warm Gun"

In a little more than two-and-half minutes, John takes us through basically three different songs, all musically unique yet somehow not disjoint, with some pretty strong (i.e., blatant) sexual and drug-related symbolism to boot.

"Blackbird"

Closing side 1 with Paul's simple and comforting acoustic number to come down from the orgasmic euphoria of "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" is a nice consequence of this arrangement, but "Blackbird" could follow any song on any album and I'd keep it regardless.

"Rocky Raccoon"

Maintaining continuity with Side 1 by opening Side 2 with "Rocky Raccoon," another acoustic animal-themed number, is another happy consequence of this arrangement. But again, I would keep this song regardless of the order. Paul does a convincing Bob Dylan parody that also has something of a moral to it. Yes please.

"Yer Blues"

By the late 60s, blues had become the province of many leading rock bands. The Beatles were well aware of this, and so they decided to make light of it somewhat...while also doing it better than virtually everyone else. John's screams of "Yes I'm lonely...want to die..." are mocking the relentless blues sadness...but also seem somewhat credible coming from a soul as dark as his. That and mean guitar keep this on the album.

"Sexy Sadie"

John's thinly disguised attack on Maharashi also stays on the album for being so darn catchy, and for "inspiring" Jet's "What Have You Done" and Radiohead's "Karma Police."

"Helter Skelter"

The birth of heavy metal simply has to stay. The Beatles never got heavier than this, and even later metal bands had to try pretty hard to get here. Yes, Charles Manson later appropriated it into his bizarre fever dream apocalypse, but that wasn't The Beatles' fault.

 "Revolution”

In the late 60s, as bands became openly political (if they didn't start there), one of the only explicitly political messages in The Beatles' music was anti-revolution: "If you go carryin' pictures of Chairman Mao/You ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow..."; "If you're talking about destruction/don't you know that you can count me out..." But there was always that extra "in..."

“Good Night”

I don't just keep this here because Ringo needs a track on the album (though he does). I genuinely enjoy this over-orchestrated, Disney-esque track, with Ringo's calmly sung lullaby vocals (ending with spoken word). Even a halved White Album takes us to some pretty wild places, so something this comforting is a good way to end.

And now to justify what I removed (again, I do this in a completely arbitrary, subjective fashion, made even more so by the fact that I have no real musical training):

"Wild Honey Pie"
I don't need to justify this. This song never should have made it out of studio diddling. 

"The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill"

I hate the refrain of this song, I hate the structure of the verses, I don't care about the story it tells, I hate that it's the answer to the Beatles' trivia question "What Beatles' song has a vocal from a non-member?" and I hate that that non-member is Yoko Ono. 

"Martha, My Dear"

I like much of what John mockingly called Paul's "granny music," so it was a difficult choice for me to excise this. But it's not even the best granny song on the album..and it's about a dog. Dogs are great, but this is The White Album. We've got more important things to talk about. 

"I’m So Tired"

John did the "I like to sleep" thing better on Revolver's "I'm Only Sleeping," which has backwards guitar and other interesting things to commend it. This just seems like another anonymous White Album track to me. 

"Piggies"

I have a soft spot in my heart for this song, which is so delightfully weird that I do like listening to it. But it's not novel enough in its weirdness to merit inclusion. Plus, I gave "Helter Skelter" a Manson pass, but I'm not sure this gets one, as its lyrics were written in blood on the wall of a Manson murder house. 

"Don’t Pass Me By"
As far as Ringo county ditties go, I guess it's better than "Act Naturally" and "What Goes On," but that's about all I can say about it. 

"Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?" 
A fun title and rousing delivery, but beyond that, forgettable and unnecessary for a pared down White Album. 

"I Will"

This is one of several songs on The White Album so similar to each other that I always forget about them or can't distinguish them from one another in my memory: slow, acoustic, simple lyrics...whatever. Get rid of it. 

"Julia"

See above. 

"Birthday"

This song should only be listened to on your birthday. 

"Mother Nature’s Son"

This was a bit of a harder choice, as I like its structure, but it gets cut because I don't think it's really about anything. 

"Long, Long, Long"

See answer for "Julia," "I Will." 

"Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except For Me and My Monkey"

See answer for "Why Don't We Do It In the Road." 

"Honey Pie"

Perhaps the hardest thing to cut. By far Paul's best "granny music," and a full-on Beatles music hall impression. If I could put one more song on the Half Album, this would be it. 

"Savoy Truffle" 

Another song I have a soft spot for, but a little ditty about Eric Clapton's candy addiction does not make the cut. Sorry George.

"Revolution 9" 

I don't need to justify this. How this song made it on at all when The Beatles were rejecting far-superior Harrison  compositions left and right is a mystery to me. This song should only be listened to on Halloween.   

So there you have it: My ideal White Album, with explanations for why I kept and cut what I did. To be sure, I still love The White Album as-is, and it was hard for me to criticize anything The Beatles did. I just think George Martin was right that a little bit of discipline might have helped. But The Beatles may have been beyond discipline by that point anyway, as the four stars had already begun to spiral away from each other's orbits, alas. 

Anyway, here's a Spotify playlist of The White Album with only my chosen songs: I called it "Te Wie Abm" because I removed every other letter from each word. If you like my version, then you can pretend it's the real one. Or you can make your own. Probably every Beatles' fan has a different preference. And that's one of many reasons why they're so great.

*According to this link, vinyl albums could be ~22 minutes per side: https://standardvinyl.com/vinyl-pressing/12-inch-records/
**I used this site, which I usually use to add up running splits for workouts, to add up the times.