Friday, November 30, 2018

My Triple 10k Autumn


Trophy from winning the MCM 10k, which began my triple 10k autumn. Yes, I probably could kill someone with it

One of the strangest things about trying to be a serious runner solo is making my own "season." For every year of my life between 2006 and 2014, fall was a schedule of races I had nothing to do with; I just had to show up at them (and often I was driven there!).

But as a now 25-year-old post-collegiate in denial, I get to make up my own schedule. And after spending winter-spring 2017 training for a half-marathon, summer-fall 2017 training for a marathon, and winter-spring 2018 training for a half-marathon, I decided I wanted to drop down to lower distances again, especially with another marathon--Boston 2019--looming. Ideally, I might even PR in some of them. So this fall, I signed up first for a 5-miler and a 5k in September.

Looking at my October-November, though, I made a bold, potentially risky decision: I would run 3 10ks, that old collegiate staple, culminating in the Cincinnati Thanksgiving Day Race, which I have run every year since 2014. Yet describing the races as being in the October-November corridor is a bit misleading, as they were actually even more proximate: October 28, November 11, and November 22. This is a level of race proximity rigor I arguably never even reached in college. How did it go for me? Pretty well, I'd say. Herewith a summary of each race.

1) October 28: Marine Corps 10k (results)


Why do race winners instinctively raise their arms as they win?
Followers of my running career may recall that I ran the Marine Corps Marathon last fall, coming in 15th with a 2:34:29 in my marathon debut (full summary here). But since I dedicated this fall to shorter races, I signed up for the Marine Corps 10k on the same day as the marathon instead. The Marine Corps 10k consists of the last 10k of the Marine Corps Marathon--i.e., the worst part of the race. But I had looked up past winning times of the race and discovered that winning it was very realistic for me. I started the race with someone running alongside me, leading me to think I might have some competition. This eventual 2nd place finisher faded by about 5k, however, and I ran all the way to a 1st place finish of 32:16 by myself. While this was not my fastest 10k time (far from it, in fact), I did run the race entirely alone after 5k, on a fairly rough course, a few days after recovering from some kind of illness. It also resulted in this post-race interview. And I later learned that I ran the second-fastest ever time for the race. So I was happy with it.

2) November 11: Veterans' Day 10k (results)


Finishing the Veterans' Day 10k alongside Kyle Wagener, who would beat me by about 9 seconds with actual speed
I chose this race instead of the Fidelity Run for the Parks 10k, held on the same course a week earlier, because I had run that race before, and because 2017's results for it and this race suggested this one would be more competitive. I had modest hopes for this race: to go sub-32, and to get in the top 5. For while I could qualify away my result for the first 10k I did this fall all I wanted, I could not deny the time itself. When this race began, I put myself in the lead pack, and was surprised to find us going sub-5 to start. And then even more surprised to find us go sub-5 again. And again. 4 miles of this race at the lead pack were sub-5, and the last two were only barely over. I faded slightly after 4 miles that fast, but chose about halfway through the next mile not to die. I ended up in 3rd place, less than 10 seconds from 1st, and 2 seconds from 2nd, both of whom outkicked me. My time of 31:03, however, was more than enough consolation. This was a lifetime 10k PR for me by more than 20 seconds, and more than 30 seconds faster than the time I ran at this course in 2016, my previous post-collegiate PR. My only regret about this race is that I lacked a stronger kick that could have gotten me sub-31, but I guess I need something to keep me motivated.

3) Cincinnati Thanksgiving Day Race (results


One of the few pictures from the race in which I don't look to be in pain (wearing the St.X singlet since I'm racing local)
I have run this race every year since 2014, in various states of shape: In 2014, at or near peak college shape, I was 4th in a 31:46; in 2016, having been forced by injury to take two of the three days preceding the race off of running, I was 2nd in 32:16; in 2017, less than a month after my first marathon, I was 4th in a 33:07.* This time around, though, I was in arguably better shape than I ever had been, tapered well, and managed to avoid any last-minute mishaps that had marred previous seasons. So I thought I would be capable of challenging this race's 2-time consecutive champion. Alas, it was not meant to be; he is just too good. But I still managed 2nd place in 31:44, 2 seconds faster than my collegiate peak time at this same course. I didn't feel quite at 100 percent at this race, for some reasons beyond my control and some that were, and that makes the result ever-so-slightly disappointing, as I thought I was faster than this. I am still content with it, however, especially as a way to end a pretty rigorous "season" of 10ks.

So, there you have it: My Triple 10k Autumn. As I said, I don't think I ever did something this rigorous in college. And I managed to beat my college 10k PR, something I wasn't sure I would ever do. I also proved to myself and to anyone who doubted me that I can be "fast" if I want to be; despite more than a year-and-a-half of running half-marathons and a marathon, I can still drop down for a quick and dirty 10k if I so desire. Now that I have done this, though, it's time to abandon speed for endurance once more, as I gear up for my Boston Marathon debut in spring 2019. I will most certainly write about that here when it happens, so please stay tuned for future updates on my life between runs.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

What if 'The White Album' had been one album? A 50th anniversary inquiry

File:TheBeatles68LP.jpg
As you can see, The White Album is white. 

Last Thursday was the 50th anniversary of The Beatles, a.k.a., The White Album, The Beatles' sprawling 1968 double-LP. I took the occasion to record a podcast on The Beatles' musical legacy, which you can listen to here (also embedded below).



For other Beatles content I have produced, see my ode to George Martin, my partial encomium to Yellow Submarine, my case for the Beatles-inspired ELO to be inducted into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame (which they were after I wrote my article, proving the extent of my reach), and my analysis of Princess Leia's Stolen Death Star Plans, a rewrite of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band that makes it tell the story of Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope.

And speaking of The White Album and George Martin: Martin, who made so much of The Beatles' music possible, has said that The White Album should have been one album. Since then, it has become a little parlor game among Beatles' fans to decide which songs to keep to make it a perfect record. Well, I gave it a try for myself. My method here was to remove songs I didn't like, without changing the order, until I got to approximate album length for each side of the hypothetical LP.*

1. "Back in the U.S.S.R." McCartney 2:43
2. "Dear Prudence" Lennon 3:56
3. “Glass Onion" Lennon 2:18
4. "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" McCartney 3:08
5. "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" Harrison 4:45
6. "Happiness Is a Warm Gun" Lennon 2:43
7. "Blackbird" McCartney 2:18

SIDE TWO (22:46)

8. "Rocky Raccoon" McCartney 3:33
9. "Yer Blues" Lennon 4:01
10. "Sexy Sadie" Lennon 3:15
11.  "Helter Skelter" McCartney 4:29
12.  "Revolution” Lennon 4:15
13.  “Good Night” Starr 3:13

TOTAL LENGTH: 44:37
SGT. PEPPER’S LENGTH: 39:52
ABBEY ROAD LENGTH: 47: 23**

And now, to justify my decisions, first for the songs I kept. I did this in a completely arbitrary, subjective fashion, made even more so by the fact that I have no real musical training. First, here's why I kept the songs I kept:

"Back in the U.S.S.R."
In true Beatles fashion, this is a fantastic album opener. But it's also a foray into surf rock, and a parody of the Beach Boys using the imagery and vocabulary of the Soviet Union. I wouldn't dare to get rid of it.
"Dear Prudence"
"Back in the U.S.S.R." segues into this song, so I wouldn't want to get rid of it for that reason alone. But it's also a beautiful, relaxing number that climaxes beautifully, thanks to some drumming by not-Ringo.
“Glass Onion"
Some might argue that this song is The Beatles at their most self-indulgent, referencing their own songs and teasing those who try to find deeper meaning from them. But The Beatles have always been a bit cheeky, and that cheekiness is an indelible part of their appeal. Plus they'd earned a little meta by this point.
"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"
I am not a huge fan of this song, but I just love that The Beatles decided to do some reggae rock in 1968 because they felt like it. So it stays.
"While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
One of George Harrison's best career compositions (not simply as a Beatle), and one of The Beatles' best songs, period, Harrison's heartfelt lyrics and anguished delivery secure it a spot on the perfect White Album. And Eric Clapton's guitar work seals the deal.
"Happiness Is a Warm Gun"
In a little more than two-and-half minutes, John takes us through basically three different songs, all musically unique yet somehow not disjoint, with some pretty strong (i.e., blatant) sexual and drug-related symbolism to boot.
"Blackbird"
Closing side 1 with Paul's simple and comforting acoustic number to come down from the orgasmic euphoria of "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" is a nice consequence of this arrangement, but "Blackbird" could follow any song on any album and I'd keep it regardless.
"Rocky Raccoon"
Maintaining continuity with Side 1 by opening Side 2 with "Rocky Raccoon," another acoustic animal-themed number, is another happy consequence of this arrangement. But again, I would keep this song regardless of the order. Paul does a convincing Bob Dylan parody that also has something of a moral to it. Yes please.
"Yer Blues"
By the late 60s, blues had become the province of many leading rock bands. The Beatles were well aware of this, and so they decided to make light of it somewhat...while also doing it better than virtually everyone else. John's screams of "Yes I'm lonely...want to die..." are mocking the relentless blues sadness...but also seem somewhat credible coming from a soul as dark as his. That and mean guitar keep this on the album.
"Sexy Sadie"
John's thinly disguised attack on Maharashi also stays on the album for being so darn catchy, and for "inspiring" Jet's "What Have You Done" and Radiohead's "Karma Police."
"Helter Skelter"
The birth of heavy metal simply has to stay. The Beatles never got heavier than this, and even later metal bands had to try pretty hard to get here. Yes, Charles Manson later appropriated it into his bizarre fever dream apocalypse, but that wasn't The Beatles' fault.
 "Revolution”
In the late 60s, as bands became openly political (if they didn't start there), one of the only explicitly political messages in The Beatles' music was anti-revolution: "If you go carryin' pictures of Chairman Mao/You ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow..."; "If you're talking about destruction/don't you know that you can count me out..." But there was always that extra "in..."
“Good Night”
I don't just keep this here because Ringo needs a track on the album (though he does). I genuinely enjoy this over-orchestrated, Disney-esque track, with Ringo's calmly sung lullaby vocals (ending with spoken word). Even a halved White Album takes us to some pretty wild places, so something this comforting is a good way to end.

And now to justify what I removed (again, I do this in a completely arbitrary, subjective fashion, made even more so by the fact that I have no real musical training):

"Wild Honey Pie"
I don't need to justify this. This song never should have made it out of studio diddling. 
"The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill"
I hate the refrain of this song, I hate the structure of the verses, I don't care about the story it tells, I hate that it's the answer to the Beatles' trivia question "What Beatles' song has a vocal from a non-member?" and I hate that that non-member is Yoko Ono. 
"Martha, My Dear"
I like much of what John mockingly called Paul's "granny music," so it was a difficult choice for me to excise this. But it's not even the best granny song on the album..and it's about a dog. Dogs are great, but this is The White Album. We've got more important things to talk about. 
"I’m So Tired"
John did the "I like to sleep" thing better on Revolver's "I'm Only Sleeping," which has backwards guitar and other interesting things to commend it. This just seems like another anonymous White Album track to me. 
"Piggies"
I have a soft spot in my heart for this song, which is so delightfully weird that I do like listening to it. But it's not novel enough in its weirdness to merit inclusion. Plus, I gave "Helter Skelter" a Manson pass, but I'm not sure this gets one, as its lyrics were written in blood on the wall of a Manson murder house. 
"Don’t Pass Me By"
As far as Ringo county ditties go, I guess it's better than "Act Naturally" and "What Goes On," but that's about all I can say about it. 
"Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?" 
A fun title and rousing delivery, but beyond that, forgettable and unnecessary for a pared down White Album
"I Will"
This is one of several songs on The White Album so similar to each other that I always forget about them or can't distinguish them from one another in my memory: slow, acoustic, simple lyrics...whatever. Get rid of it. 
"Julia"
See above. 
"Birthday"
This song should only be listened to on your birthday. 
"Mother Nature’s Son"
This was a bit of a harder choice, as I like its structure, but it gets cut because I don't think it's really about anything. 
"Long, Long, Long"
See answer for "Julia," "I Will." 
"Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except For Me and My Monkey"
See answer for "Why Don't We Do It In the Road." 
"Honey Pie"
Perhaps the hardest thing to cut. By far Paul's best "granny music," and a full-on Beatles music hall impression. If I could put one more song on the Half Album, this would be it. 
"Savoy Truffle" 
Another song I have a soft spot for, but a little ditty about Eric Clapton's candy addiction does not make the cut. Sorry George.
"Revolution 9" 
I don't need to justify this. How this song made it on at all when The Beatles were rejecting far-superior Harrison  compositions left and right is a mystery to me. This song should only be listened to on Halloween.   

So there you have it: My ideal White Album, with explanations for why I kept and cut what I did. To be sure, I still love The White Album as-is, and it was hard for me to criticize anything The Beatles did. I just think George Martin was right that a little bit of discipline might have helped. But The Beatles may have been beyond discipline by that point anyway, as the four stars had already begun to spiral away from each other's orbits, alas. 

Anyway, here's a Spotify playlist of The White Album with only my chosen songs: I called it "Te Wie Abm" because I removed every other letter from each word. If you like my version, then you can pretend it's the real one. Or you can make your own. Probably every Beatles' fan has a different preference. And that's one of many reasons why they're so great.

*According to this link, vinyl albums could be ~22 minutes per side: https://standardvinyl.com/vinyl-pressing/12-inch-records/
**I used this site, which I usually use to add up running splits for workouts, to add up the times.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Spend this Halloween at 'The Exorcist' steps

Pictured: synergy 
Longtime readers of mine--if there are any--might know about my history with the 1973 horror film with The Exorcist. Short version: For more than a decade of my life, I had nightmares about the movie--and about demonic possession more generally--after first learning about it despite never having seen it. And during Halloween 2016, I decided to face my fears and watch the movie, with the following result. As I summarized here for Acculturated (RIP):
I spent the next decade of my life blocking out any demonic pop culture—especially The Exorcist—in the hope that the fear would vanish as I aged. But it did not. My Catholic upbringing and a primal anxiety about losing control of my own body are largely to blame. The nightmares subsided, but my fright lingered. Thus, at 23 years old, I finally decided to confront my fears. I would watch The Exorcist, which was filmed in Washington, D.C., the city in which I currently work and live, for Halloween. Perhaps it would end the nightmares forever, or perhaps it would continue them indefinitely. I did not know. But so resolved, I could not back down. What I found upon watching was some of what I expected, some of what I did not, and much that made confronting my fears worthwhile.
Read the whole article I wrote for Acculturated to find my elaboration of the virtues of The Exorcist. If you don't feel like doing that, well, I'll recapitulate here: Basically, it's a wildly pro-Catholic movie about the reality of evil in the world and the importance of faith in confronting it. Owing a great deal to this, and to its genuine scares and great performances, I named The Exorcist my favorite horror movie, ranking among my all-time favorites.

Having found the experience of confronting my fears around Halloween gratifying, I decided to do the same last year, in 2017, by reading the book of the same name on which The Exorcist is based. The movie proved to be a mostly faithful adaptation of the book, with most of the few changes it made benefiting the story and not harming it.*

I started the book about a week before Halloween last year. On the evening of that Halloween, I had about 30 pages left. And then I realized something: I not only lived in the same city in which the film's famous climax takes place, but could easily access that infamous set of stairs in Georgetown (recognized as a historic landmark by D.C. on Halloween 2015, and up for national recognition). And since Halloween was a cool, pleasant night, and the area around the stairs was well-lit, I could finish the book there. As a bonus, I would get to see what it's like to be at the location of one of the most famous scenes in horror on Halloween. And so my plan for Halloween 2017 came to be.

The scary thing is that the guy walking down the stairs wasn't behind me when the picture was taken. I'm kidding (or am I?)
Reaching the steps around 6:30 pm, I found a comfortable position to sit, read, and observe. First, of course, I spent about a half-hour reading the climax of The Exorcist, during which one character takes a deadly tumble from the top of the steps down. This marked a first for me: the first time I had ever read a book at the exact location of its resolution, or perhaps any part of the book at the exact location at which it is set. As a result, I was better able to visualize precisely what I was reading better than ever before, helping the text to come alive.

But finishing the book was only the beginning of my night at the steps. Not long after arriving, I saw either a priest or someone dressed as one for Halloween approaching the steps to descend them. With the book in had, I warned him to be careful. He laughed. steady stream of hesitant tourists, of varying ages, walked by the steps and searched for some sign that they were in the right place. Showing them my copy of the book, I assured them that they were. To one of these tourists, I related a trivia fact about the book: When the filmmakers were capturing the stunt of the movie's climax (for which the stairs were covered in foam), students at Georgetown with roof views of the steps charged people to watch it from their vantage points. I volunteered to take many pictures of pairs or groups of people who came by to see the steps (one of whom reciprocated for me). Most surprising: Throughout the night, a consistent group of people were just using the steps to work out. And, finally, in the climax of my evening, at the request of one pair of horror tourists, I gave a dramatic reading of the book's dramatic resolution. I did not throw myself down the stairs at the end, but I did my best in every other respect to make it seem real. All in all, a good place to spend Halloween.

My happiness should be evidence
After leaving the steps, and in the year subsequent to my evening there, I have thought a lot about why I felt the need to go there, and why so many others did as well. The Exorcist doesn't even take place on Halloween (although at least one or two scenes seem to take place on it). So why would people go there then? To confront their fears, as I did? Because The Exorcist, as a horror movie, has become so indelibly tied up in the holiday associated with the genre? Because maybe some were hoping something might happen in that famous place on that auspicious night? Probably for all of these reasons, and more.

But whatever the reason, I highly recommend checking out The Exorcist steps this Halloween. It's a fascinating cultural experience to see who shows up there, and why. A few people may just use it to work out, but most others go to it for some ineffable, spooky, quintessentially Halloween reason(s). If you have the chance, you should join them. Just be careful not to fall down the stairs.

I hear it's happened before.

*The one exception to this might have been dropping some of the obscure references that the demon Pazuzu makes to the Bible, John Milton, C.S. Lewis, and other sources.

Friday, August 3, 2018

How my visit to an anechoic chamber changed the way I understand sound

Get you someone who looks at you the way I look at an anechoic chamber

We live in a very loud world. All around us is ambient noise: cars honking, people talking, phones ringing. One can achieve a sort of quiet by escaping to nature, yes, but even nature offers its own background sounds: birds chirping, brooks babbling, branches rustled by gusts of wind. It is hard for us to imagine what a truly soundless existence is like.

But it is no longer hard for me. For last weekend, when I was in Nashville, Tennessee, I visited the anechoic chamber at Vanderbilt University. Break down the word into its roots and you'll understand what it means: "an" - Greek: "without," (see also, anaerobic, "without air); "echo" - sound feedback, or reverberation. If that still doesn't make sense, here's a simpler explanation: An anechoic chamber is a room specially designed to eliminate the reflection and refraction of sound after its origination. In the world outside anechoic chambers, if you clap, you don't merely hear the clap: You hear the clap as it bounces off the wall, the air, the objects around you. And ditto for every other sound you make.

This is not the case in an anechoic chamber. You hear only the sound itself. The chamber "captures" the echo, killing subsequent resounding. This creates a quietude unlike virtually any we can experience in the real world. In fact, the first I heard of such a chamber was in a news story that went semi-viral a few years ago, which claimed that spending 45 minutes in such a room will drive you insane. The reason? Being in a room that quiet allows you to hear noises your own body makes that are usually inaudible, like the movement of your blood, and the functioning of your organs. It also heightens the typically feint sound of the beating heart. And, above all, it cancels out the din of existence itself, the default level of noise that we've accustomed ourselves to living today. Some people, apparently, just can't handle it.

I have been desperate to find out whether I was one of those people ever since first reading about anechoic chambers. And just before leaving last weekend on my trip to Nashville, a piece of long-forgotten information resurfaced in my brain: Somewhere in the city, there was an anechoic chamber. So I did a bit of research and discovered that the chamber was housed at Vanderbilt University. A bit more digging, and I managed to find the Vanderbilt faculty member in charge of the thing. On a lark, I sent him an email, asking if it would be possible for me to go inside while I was there, on account of my longtime interest. He said yes, and I was set.

A friend accompanied me to the chamber that day, ostensibly because he was interested as well, but perhaps also to keep me from going insane; or, failing that, to manage my insanity upon its inception. As far as I could tell, only he, myself, and the Vanderbilt faculty member who agreed to let me inside were on the floor of its location when we arrived. It was quiet on that floor--or so I thought--when the unassuming man led us to the deceptively modest door of the chamber. Just outside the room itself was a set of diodes, control panels, monitors, and other such equipment, similar in array (if not in exact function) to what one would expect outside of a recording studio. But I did not come here for that. And soon, my guide brought me into what I had come all this way for: the chamber itself.

Abandon all sound, ye who enter here 
The anechoic chamber was unlike any room I have ever been in. From the moment I entered it, and without the door to the room even being closed, the sonic landscape I perceived was completely different. The ambient buzzing of lights, the scattered scuffing of shoes on floor--all vanished, replaced with nothing except perhaps a very light ringing in my ears that could have been how my auditory organs chose to register the extreme soundlessness. The room itself was huge: its dimensions stretched both above us, surely to the next floor, and under us, surely to the floor below. Between us and the lower portion of the room was a mat of thin yet springy wire, almost like mattress springs. What I can only describe as foam spikes, always in pairs, covered all four walls of the room, pointing out at us as though at any moment I would enter an Indiana Jones movie and they would start to close in on me. In the middle of the room was a single chair, surrounded by a large metallic ring*, off of which hung a circular array of small speakers. I would never dare to say such a place had a nefarious purpose, but this setup made it look like a place where James Bond might be tortured. It also reminded me, for reasons I can't quite explain, of something out of Inception. You'll notice that I keep reaching for fictional analogues to describe this place; that is because I can find no nonfictional analogue to it in my own experience--save perhaps a recording studio, albeit one on steroids.

A narrow view
Our Vanderbilt guide explained why the room was made the way it was. It extended to the floors both above and below it to minimize the amount of sounds that could seep in from the building itself: air conditioning, the functioning of other equipment, etc. The wire floor was enough to keep us from falling below while also not being substantial enough in its own right to provide an alternative source of sound refraction. The foam spikes, arrayed in outward-facing pairs, both absorbed sound and captured it, reducing echo by forcing it into the point between the spikes until it dissipated entirely. Think of it as a sort of reverse feedback. And the single chair surrounded by speakers was its primary research manifestation. In a room so thoroughly soundproofed, researchers could build an auditory landscape from scratch. You could sit in the chair in the dark and in complete silence and have sounds issued at you from any combination of the speakers, or all of them at once. In such an environment, you could convince your ears that you were in a location of entirely different spatial dimensions from the one you actually occupied, like a giant cathedral. There were no true medicinal purposes to this room; it was for research alone. Sometimes, they even accept requests from local music acts to record in it. Manufacturers of notoriously loud objects, such as airplanes, have rooms many times its size but identical in nature so they can test the sound generation of their equipment, as basically sonic wind tunnels. There are all sorts of thing one can do with an anechoic chamber.

The chair of sound
Which may be part of why this room entranced me from the moment I entered it. And the more our guide told me, the more fascinated I became. I could already notice a difference in the sound (or lack thereof) around us when we walked in, even though he hadn't even closed the door. Once he did that, all the eerie silence of the room kicked up a notch. Just talking sounded weird. In a few moments of silence, I could hear my heart beating, my blood moving, and my stomach noisily squelching and digesting my lunch. And clapping--oh, clapping! I struggle even to describe what it sounds like to clap in such a place. It was as though my hands were made of sponge. We don't realize, outside of such a place, how much of the noise of a clap is actually its echo. But in the anechoic chamber, you realize it by its absence. Never did I think something so simple as a clap could be so mindblowing.

Yet all this was a mere prelude to the peak of my experience in the anechoic chamber. On two occasions, our Vanderbilt guide allowed me in the room alone, with the door closed, in the dark. I would soon get the answer as to whether such an environment could actually drive me insane. On the first stint, I sat in the chair, preparing myself. First, the door closed. Then, the lights went off. I closed my eyes. After only a few seconds, I felt completely weightless, like I was floating in a pool, or perhaps in space. In the essence of quiescence that I experienced, I heard nothing at all, and I began to lose spatial orientation: up, down, right, left--all of this lost its typical meaning. My thoughts quickly drifted to where they usually only go on the edge of sleep, a twilight wasteland of fragmented cogitations. I felt like I could stay there forever.

Me, in my element 
Then the lights came back on, the door opened, and our Vanderbilt guide returned me to reality. It had somehow only been a minute. But I had experienced something more powerful than my deepest sleeps. And I had an identical experience when, as we were about to leave, I begged for another time in the chamber alone. The main difference between the first and second times was that, on the second time, I felt like I could have fallen asleep almost instantly; that, in fact, I may never be able to sleep anywhere else.

Alas, my time at the anechoic chamber had come to a close. Before we left, though, I had to ask our Vanderbilt guide whether what I had heard was true: Could prolonged exposure to this environment really make people go insane? Can we sound-accustomed humans really not handle such a deprivation? He said no: Indeed, he sometimes spends consecutive hours in it alone, with only a lunchbreak, and his sanity is still fully intact. He seemed like a pretty sane fellow, so I guess I have to take him at his word, for now.

And so we left the most incredible room I have ever entered. This despite the fact that I had so much left that I still wanted to do in there. I wanted to sit in there until I heard all of my organs churning. I wanted to wait and see if I really did go insane. I wanted to take a nap, because I've never been anywhere quieter and more conducive to sleep for the light sleeper than I am. I wanted to whistle in there, which I wish I'd had the presence of mind to think of doing. And, above all, I wanted to sit in the chair, turn off the lights, and blast Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon from all the speakers surrounding me and listen to the whole thing, which I think is how the band actually meant for it to be experienced. For now, these desires will have to wait until my next trip to an anechoic chamber. For rest assured, there will be another trip. I didn't even go to the one that inspired all of those viral stories; it's in Minneapolis. I will return to this kind of room while I have time left to do so. This kind of experience is not the sort of thing you only do once.

Me, laying down some sick tracks
As my friend and I left the building that housed the chamber, the sounds of the world began to creep back in: the cars, the people, the birds, the wind. But I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that they all sounded a little bit...different. If it's true that you can only truly appreciate a thing by experiencing its absence, then perhaps the chamber heightened my perception of the sounds I usually hear. It got me unused to them, if only briefly, making my reintroduction to them all the more noticeable. A week later, I don't think the experience of being in a soundless room has made me permanently unable to tolerate sound (a la Rick and Morty's "absolute level"), insane, or unable to sleep. Yet I do have some evidence it had an effect on me. As my friend and I walked around Vanderbilt's campus after leaving the chamber, I heard a light ringing on the ground. I stopped, turned around, and scanned the ground, discovering that I had kicked a penny. I joked to my friend that the fact that I had heard it and he had not meant that the anechoic chamber had improved my hearing to Daredevil-esque levels (we had joked beforehand that some bizarre mishap in the chamber would occur while I was inside that would give me sound-based superpowers). And when I picked the penny up, I noticed something strange: It was minted in the year of my birth.

Had my chamber-enhanced hearing not only allowed me to hear the penny itself, but also the slight variations in its grooves and etchings that would distinguish a penny minted in 1993 from one minted in 1992 or 1994? Who is to say? All I can say is that I must return to an anechoic chamber as soon as possible, and that I highly recommend you take a visit as well. In a loud world, they offer a quiet unlike anything you've ever experienced.

Unless, that is, you've already been in one.

*They are planning to add another ring, circling vertically, for maximum auditory landscape manipulation.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

How my 2008 trip to Washington, D.C. became something more a decade later

Me, 10 years ago, in the place I now live. 
Readers of this blog, if there are any left, will know that I am prone to (excessive?) reflection, retrospection, and nostalgia, and obsessed with anniversaries. 10-year anniversaries seem particularly potent reflection-inducers for me, perhaps because as a relatively young person, I'm still weirded out by by the fact that I am now able to start thinking of my life in terms of decades.

So all week I've been thinking about a trip I took to D.C. in 2008, exactly 10 years ago. It was my first time in the city. I went with my father, and we went to all the sights: the Mall, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln and Jefferson Memorials, the National Archives, Capitol Hill, the Supreme Court, the White House (we got tours of both, thanks to Bush administration connections), Georgteown, Arlington Cemetery, Mt. Vernon, and perhaps other D.C.-area things I'm forgetting.*

At JFK's Flame 

At the Marine Corps Memorial, in front of which I would finish the Marine Corps Marathon 9 years later.

Haaaaave ya met Abe?  
At the front of the National Mall
With my father  
I stood in this very spot on Saturday

Showing state pride 

Statesmanship 

It had to be done
We also went to Annapolis to visit the Naval Academy, back when I thought I might be interested in that kind of thing. On the way back, we stopped at a theater (my father thinks it was this one) and saw The Dark Knight on opening day, which became important to me later for other reasons.

At the time, I had a vague interest in politics, stimulated by the ongoing election, which was only about to get weirder; the financial crisis of fall 2008 was still a few weeks away, though the price of oil reached an all-time high the week we were there. I didn't fully understand the world of politics, but was on the cusp of starting to. I didn't think I necessarily wanted to go into politics (whatever that means), though the 2008 election would ultimately help to change that. At the time, this was just a fun trip with my Dad.

But 10 years later, I live here. The sights I saw then I walk or run by almost every day; they haven't gone anywhere, and I know exactly where they all are, which makes it a lot easier than usual to place my nostalgia in context. It's also very easy to return to the exact same places. I mean, I live on Capitol Hill. It turns out this trip was more important than I could have possibly realized. It set in motion and prepared me for the next 10 years of my life, three of which I have now spent in D.C., with long stints during two others. That fact offers me more to ponder than the typical ruminations inspired by the mere passage of time. Among other things, it makes me wonder: What am I doing now that might actually be foreshadowing my future?

Obviously, right now I don't know. But I guess I'll find out with another ten years gone.

*But one thing I'll certainly never forget is getting rained on while walking by the Korean War memorial, and seeing the bronze soldiers there as they are meant to be seen: walking through the rain themselves.

Saturday, July 7, 2018

24 no more; or, Am I still a Young Dude?

Am I still a Young Dude? 
As I turn 25, I find myself thinking about music, as I often am. From the references to the age of 25 in music, one gets the sense that is the youngest age that passes for genuinely "adult." There's David Bowie's Mott the Hoople's glam-rock anthem, in which the singer describes the plans of a "Billy":
Billy rapped all night about his suicide
How he'd kick it in the head when he was twenty-five
Don't wanna stay alive when you're twenty-five
Much like Roger Daltrey singing in "My Generation," Billy, presumably younger than 25, can't possibly imagine living to be 25. That's, like, so old, dude.

Then there's Sugar Ray's "Fly," a song that often came on the radio of my neighborhood pool when I was growing up. It's a light, catchy, reggae-influenced pop hit...that has this random line: "Twenty-five years old, my mother God rest her soul."

I've been hearing this song for almost 20 years, and I've never understood why this line was in it. I think I know what it's supposed to mean; the singer's mother died at 25, obviously. 25: Just old enough to have done something with your life (in this case, have a child), but still young enough for a life ending then to be tragic.

Finally, there's "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C. Another song I remember from my pool years (if somewhat more vaguely), this song imagines the experience of graduating high school from the heady haze of its aura of completion:
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn twenty five
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
Like "All the Young Dudes," (which it references), "Graduation" imagines 25 as a far-off age, one close enough to conceptualize and understand, but distant enough to be intimidating and incredible.

Now, you may be saying I've just picked three random songs that all happen to mention the age of 25. And you'd be right! I do think, however, that they all get at something about being 25: It's an age that seems old when you're young. But now that I am 25...it feels basically the same as every age I've been since I turned 21 (especially physically; I'm basically in the same shape I've been since then). I remain in the wasteland of my ambiguous 20s.

But there is actually significance to 25 that I'm not making up just because today is my 25th birthday and I want to write about it. For today, I depart from a very special category: the 18-24-year-old demographic. Common in polls, ratings, and entertainment, the 18-24-year-old parameter is perhaps the key determinant of what these entities think a young person with money of his or her own to spend is and does. If you want to know what "the youth" are up to, you try to figure out what 18-24-year-olds are into.

As of today, that is no longer me. My opinion is no longer representative of that of a demographically "young" person (although I don't think it was, or ever has been, but that's a different matter). So what did I do in my last year of demographic, representative youth? Some decidedly non-representative things, if I do say so myself (and I will). In keeping with the trend I began last year, herewith I present, for my own indulgence and (I hope) for your edification, a summary of the highlights of my year as a 24-year-old.

-In August, after settling into my new apartment, I decided to become a cross-country coach for my local parish's grade school team. At the same time, while training for the Marine Corps Marathon, I finally ran a 100-mile week (actually 105 miles), something I came less than one mile short of doing in college.

Pictured: Not peaking in college

-In September, I entered the Navy/Air Force Half Marathon, hoping to use it as a long tempo workout. Instead, I ran what was then a PR in that distance (1:12:42, beating my Flying Pig Time from the previous May), finishing 9th.

-In October, I raced the Marine Corps Marathon, my first marathon. I ran a 2:34:29 (~5:53/mile pace), coming in 15th place.

Photo credit: Mom 

Later that month, on Halloween, I spent the evening on The Exorcist steps, where I finished reading the book at the location of its climax while conversing with locals and tourists who stopped by on that rather propitious night. I provided trivia, dramatic readings, pictures, and a warning to one fellow who walked down the steps who was either a priest or dressed like one.

The best place to be on Halloween. 
-In November, I visited New York City for the first time, doing as much of the city as I could in the time I had there. I didn't get north of the Central Park Reservoir from Marathon Man, though I did run around it.

Being a tourist. The Statue of Liberty was smaller than I expected.
Later that month, I ran Cincinnati's Thanksgiving Day Race on very little training. After spending the first two miles running conservatively and figuring out what kind of shape I was in, I worked my way up to 4th place.

I was in third, for a bit, but I was outkicked by this guy. And not for the first time...
-In December, I returned to Cincinnati to spend Christmas with my entire family, (unexpectedly!) reunited for the holiday.

I'm the one in the middle. 
I also reunited with a friend who currently lives and works with South Korea, who was back visiting for the holidays. And I ended the calendar year (a temporal interval I don't really think of my life in terms of yet) by growing a real ice beard again, for the first time since 2014.

I think this is a good look for me. 
 -In February, my family reunited once more, for a 60th birthday party for my parents that we siblings planned ourselves. It was a smashing success.

Family...again!
-In April, I attended Easter mass at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, a beautiful church in Washington, D.C. I also ran the Cherry Blossom 10-miler, this time really as a workout, and ran 53:15, coming in 46th (out of a race well in excess of of 10,000), competing for the first time (to my knowledge) against actual Olympians. I closed out the month with the release of Suicide of the West by Jonah Goldberg, a book in whose production I greatly assisted (if you have a copy, check the acknowledgements).

-In May, I won the Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon, an accomplishment of which I have already written, but of which I remain quite proud. Although the post-race interview may be an even better accomplishment than the race itself.


Winning!
-In June, my half-baked, half-serious idea about starting a podcast bore fruit in the form of Young Americans, a podcast of Ricochet that I now host. You can listen to it there, and also via Stitcher and Google Play.

I did not design this logo, but I like it. 
-And in early July, thanks to the helpfully annoying insistence of a friend, I finished the rough draft of a novel that I had spent most of the first six months of the year writing on and off (which is why this blog was so inactive for the first half of this year), and much of the past 5 (!) years thinking about on and off. I am too coy to say more about it now, but I hope one day you all will be able to buy a copy.

So that was 24. All in all, a good year, one sufficiently replete with experiences that will allow me to distinguish it from the years already passed and the years to come. This being my standard for life post-graduation, I am content with having met it once more. I do not yet know what the quarter-century mark will bring (though I have some ideas). But if it is anything in quality or character like 23 or 24, then I think I'll be okay.

Although who cares what I think? I'm not an 18-24-year-old anymore. I just hope I'm still a young dude.

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Reflections on winning the 2018 Flying Pig Half Marathon

I won. 
There are two things I don’t often get the chance to do in this life: travel through time, and accomplish exactly what I set out to. The first, obviously, is impossible—for now, anyway: Despite its fictional popularity, no physicist or garage-tinkering amateur has yet figured out how to transcend the limits of spacetime. You could say that the second is impossible as well: As human beings, frustratingly finite, perpetually imperfect, we never quite get exactly what we want. But on May 6, 2018, at the Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon, I came just about as close to doing both as I think I ever have.

How, you might wonder first, did I travel through time on this day? Repetition. I ran this same race last year, and did okay: I was 4th in 1:13:23, a time that I accepted then because of the difficulties that preceded it, but which I knew I could improve upon in the future. I had not planned to run the Flying Pig Half again this year; my original plan for 2018 was to run a half in March, and run the Flying Pig Full in May, but life intervened. And so I came to the line of this race, almost exactly a year later, with everything about last year’s performance fresh in my mind.

Me, during last year's performance. 
But this time travel advantage did not only exist on race day. For once I had decided to do the race again, I could take into account certain things about the race this year that I did not know last year, from items as basic as race-day logistics all the way up to things like strategy and training. And perhaps the most important lesson I learned from last year’s race was this: Be ready for the brutal hills that dominate the race’s middle miles. Last year, I did not prepare for them adequately, and I suffered. Because of them, the middle of the race quite nearly destroyed me, and I required a near-miraculous comeback just to finish. But this year, knowing that the race’s middle miles would be largely uphill, I could and did prepare for them, incorporating hill workouts into my training for the race. I thought it reasonable that I could at least use this foreknowledge to power myself to a PR: sub-1:12, certainly, sub 1:11, if I was feeling bold.

And how, you might wonder next, did I accomplish exactly what I set out to do? Well…I won. I was somewhat high on my chances of doing so before I even got to the starting line of today’s race: I was in good shape, better shape than last year, when I was 4th. I knew that many of my typical local competitors would either not be racing me, or, if they were, they would not be doing so at full strength, having just completed other races, such as the Boston Marathon, a few weeks before. This is why I came to the starting line with a not-unrealistic hope of victory. But victory itself still seemed a bit lofty a goal, almost too good to be true, for one of the biggest races of the year in my hometown. Against 13,000+ people, surely I would fall to at least one of them? But no. I did not. I won. And now I relate the story of my victory.

---------

The starting line of the race. I am on the left, in the white and blue, already next to someone who would become important later.

With winning the race a realistic but by no means certain outcome, I started it at the very front. My tentative strategy, again, influenced by last year’s race, was to start out a little faster than I did last year, to hold on for dear life up the hills, and then finish as fast as I could, when the race became downhill/flat. If this meant running the race entirely alone, then so be it; if this meant dueling one or more fellow elites, I was fine with that as well. And not long after the starting gun went off, and the flamethrowers atop the starting line let loose (yes, this race has starting line flamethrowers), I discovered that I would not be alone. It only took about 800 meters, in fact, for my main competition to reveal himself. He and I settled quickly alongside one another behind the lead vehicle, which also had a timer, as we made our way through the early portions of the race. I checked my watch nervously, perhaps obsessively, during this first mile, as we made our way into Newport, Kentucky*, just to make sure I wasn’t doing anything I didn’t want to do, either too fast or too slow. The first mile ended up being a 5:16, which was fine with me. So I decided I would remain alongside this mysterious competitor for as long as our interests seemed to align.

It was in mile 2, through Newport, that I began to wonder if I was perhaps a bit out of my league. According to my watch, we ran a 5:08 second mile together, which was…a little faster than I wanted to go quite yet. Despite the ample fan support (at one point, including a band, at which I shouted “Free Bird”), despite feeling fine (if ever so slightly bloated from a large dinner the night before), going this fast this early made me wonder if I hadn’t inadvertently decided to contest a true elite. So I chose to hang back from him just a little bit after this, to see what he would do. When he slowed down a little bit as we went up another bridge back into Cincinnati, I became a bit more confident in myself, and ran alongside him again, now having firmly decided I could do so. Mile 3 ended up being a 5:22, which, again, I was fine with.

Miles 4 and 5, back in Cincinnati, he and I spent mostly together. Mile 4, during which we were mostly alone, was another 5:16; mile 5, which cuts straight through the heart of downtown and supplies a gauntlet of spectators, was surprisingly slower, at 5:23. I was still feeling good at this time**, and my competitor was just behind me, drafting off of me but always seemingly moving somewhere I couldn’t see him by looking behind me. At this point, I was content with this arrangement, because I knew what was coming, and I don’t think he did. Yes, time travel does have its advantages. For while I was not certain he did not know that mile 6 began the race’s gauntlet of hills, I strongly suspected so, and that I might be able to use this information asymmetry to my advantage.

He was still right behind or right next to me as mile 6 (5:26) presented the race’s first truly grueling uphill, up Gilbert. And here, still feeling good, I used the accumulated experience of last year’s race and this training cycle’s multiple hill repeat workouts to power my way up the hill. It helped that, at this point, someone was playing the Rocky theme: I know it’s cheesy, but damn it, it’s inspirational, and I needed it. At this point, I could no longer sense my competitor’s presence directly behind me.

En route, with Mom cheering on the right. The sign says "Run, Jack, run!" It was good advice. 
Nor was anyone else, other than the lead vehicle, in front of me. I was alone, in first place, leading the entire field of the Flying Pig, as I headed into Eden Park, a little more than 6 miles into the race.
As Gilbert Avenue heads into Eden Park, the terrain flattens, but only briefly. Here, the first leg of the Flying Pig Marathon relay ends. When I saw the place where those people would make their exchange, whenever the first of them showed up, I could only think of one word: “bastards.” For unlike they, I had not just the rest of the race but, at that moment, arguably its most excruciating portion: the climb out of Eden Park. Last year, this was where the course broke me: I ran a mile above 6:00, became beset with cramps, and was on the verge of giving up before I dug deep within my soul to find the strength to recover. But this year, things were different. I was still feeling strong, I did not feel at all intimidated by being alone at the front or by the hill. I was ready to prove that I was stronger than I was last year.

And prove it I did. Ascending out of the park, I saw two of the same sights that marked my ascent last year: an Elvis impersonator, and a friend, Chris Reischel, cheering me on. Last year, in the delirium of my pain, or the pain of my delirium, these were almost surreal sights, intrusions into reality from some earthly, pain-free realm that at that moment forbade me access. This year, however, they were just spectators, motivators along my path. Soon I passed them by, and soon the course became (again, briefly) flat again, marking the 7th mile, by far the course’s toughest, which I completed in a 5:44. This was, obviously, slower than my other miles, but acceptable for that part of the race, especially versus last year’s supra-6:00 mile. The last of a series of three grueling uphills took me up Victory Parkway to East McMillan, another spectator-heavy portion of the race. It was here that I saw, for the first time, my parents and the sister who drove me to the race, dutifully cheering me on.

My parents (and my sister, sadly cut off, right edge) cheer me on during the hardest part of the race for me. My favorite picture from the race (courtesy Pete Anderson).

And I was glad of it. For although the race here became flatter, and the cheers of spectators became louder and more consistent, I needed all the support I could get. For after having conquered the race’s most difficult portion, I unexpectedly began to flag slightly here; if not too badly physically, as my miles remained acceptable, then certainly mentally, during miles 8-10 (5:28, 5:22, 5:26). I grew impatient with the race’s seemingly stubborn refusal to take me back in the direction of downtown, its insistence on continuing to force me up and down (smaller) hills and around turns. In short, I grew impatient, perhaps bored. I was helped here, again, by my fan support: I saw my family again, and also one Coach Emeritus Dehring, my St. Xavier High School track and cross country coach, the man who gave me the St. X singlet I wore today. There was also the fact that I could sense without looking behind me how close 2nd place was: Whenever I heard the spectators who had cheered me sounding up again, I knew that he was passing by them. And he was too close for me to rest on my laurels.  

Fortunately, this mentally taxing portion of the race ended soon enough. Beginning with mile 11, the course finally began to bring me back toward downtown, back down Gilbert. And this was where the fun began. That which I had struggled uphill earlier in the race now became an accelerator downhill. I was doubly helped in this regard by the fact that the bulk of the race seemed, at this time, to be heading up the hill, so it was lined with both spectators in the middle of the road and racers on the other side of me. Thus I got plenty of support as I raced down Gilbert, resulting in a 4:56 (!) mile 11. It’s an easy part of the race, yes, but a sub-5 mile is a sub-5 mile.


And yet the race was not over. For, I thought, there was no reason 2nd place wouldn’t be able to take just as much advantage of the downhill as I had. In fact, with me in his sights as the race entered its final portion, he might find even more motivation within himself to catch me than I would to remain in 1st. I had been in the front of the race now for 5 miles, but despite that, a terrifying paranoia began to beset me. So many times in my life had greatness been snatched from my grasp. I began to play in my head the nightmarish vision of being passed, or outkicked, and was not helped in this regard by being able to see my competitor’s orange singlet out of the corner of my eye any time I made a turn that allowed me to see him without breaking my stride.

But I did not let these dark prophecies destroy me. Instead, I turned them into the extra motivation I needed. I wanted nothing more, in the last two miles of the race, than to be able to coast to the finish line in victory. But the specter of 2nd place, in both its current bearer and the possibility that he would transfer his identity to me, terrified me into continuing to work hard. I was beginning to grow truly tired by now, but I knew that I couldn’t care. So I let this intoxicating mix of paranoia and victory lust spur me on.

And looking good doing it. 
Just before the completion of mile 12 (5:05), the race performs a bizarre forced turnaround. Last year, when I went through this part of the race, it allowed 3rd place, on whom I had gained almost 40 seconds of ground in a furious kick, to see that I was closing in on him, which, alas, gave him the motivation he needed to keep that from happening. This year, it allowed me to see, again, that my orange-outfitted competitor was close enough that I needed to finish strong. I’m now convinced that this part of the course design is here precisely for this reason.

And so, in the last 1.1 miles of the race,*** I squeezed out every ounce of energy I had left. I was fortunate to know that the finish line of the race was different from last year. Getting lost or something like that was not my concern, not with the lead vehicle, the race spectators, etc. guiding me. But it was important that I knew, for my own mental purposes, that the finish line was not where I remembered it, but slightly further away. I continued to follow the lead vehicle and the race cyclist back toward the heart of downtown, with fewer meters to go with every step, but still without the finish line in sight. Around this time, roughly mile 13 (5:10), I randomly saw Brad King, who was pushing a baby in a stroller. A St.X alum, he cheered me on for my singlet, but was probably weirded out when I responded by pointing at him and saying “Brad King.” I do that kind of thing sometimes. But despite the distraction, I was starting to wonder if I would ever finish.

Approaching the finish. 
Then…there it was. Much further off than I expected, I could see the “Finish Swine,” with that unbroken race tape, waiting for me to be the one to break it. It was so close, yet so far away. The combination of that, and the departure of the lead vehicle from in front of me, as well as the cyclist who had been leading me, from the course, all combined to elicit a “shit” from my parched racing mouth. It was quite true what the cyclist said to me as he left the course: “You’re on your own for the rest.”

With 2nd place not worryingly close to me, with all the finish line’s spectators cheering me and me alone on, I charged toward the finish as hard as I could manage****. Even then, with victory obvious and imminent, I still couldn’t believe what was actually happening. I was still afraid of a last-minute surge from someone else that would take everything away from me just before the end, forcing me to watch as my glory was stolen before my very eyes, as has happened to me so many times before.
But that moment never came. Meters before the finish line, I crossed my arms in an X-formation, honoring my past (and my singlet). And then I crossed the line, broke the tape, and earned victory. With a time of 1:10:39, I was the 2018 Flying Pig Half Marathon champion, the first runner to cross the line for any race that day.

Crossing the finish. 
---------------

The post-race press tour begins. 
You might expect the immediate aftermath of such an experience to be something of a blur: Heady with victory, and exhausted from the effort, would the memories really stick? But I can assure you, they did. Just after I crossed the line, I was given my medal and plaque, the victory laurel was placed upon my head, and I was wrapped in one of those weird blanket things. I was then interviewed by WLWT, a local news station, in a surprisingly cogent performance for someone who just won a half-marathon. And fortunately for me, even if I did not remember what happened to me after I finished, it was all captured on the WLWT video of my interview, which you can watch here (also embedded below):


I spent a good 10-15 minutes after finishing in the finish line corral, doing more interviews, taking pictures, and talking with 2nd place. His name is Zack Beavin, and he ran a 2:30 at the Boston Marathon this year, so he was probably not at full strength. I told him as much when I learned that, in addition to thanking him for working with me in the race. I told him I couldn’t have done it without him, and I hold to that; we worked together through mile 6, and then the possibility that he might still beat me made me paranoid enough to finish strong. Thanks, Zack. May we run against each other again someday.

Half-marathon top 5. All results here.

Once I left the finish line corral, I was quickly found by my aunt and uncle, who were there to support my cousin Ben (their son), who was running the marathon, and me. They congratulated me, declined to hug me (because I was so sweaty), and graciously held some of the swag I had won when I decided to try going on a cooldown.

Pictured: spolia opima

Anyway, though…holy crap. I thought I might be able to win today. But I actually did it. No asterisks. No qualifications. And not only did I win. I blew my apparently modest goal of setting a personal record out of the water. Before today, my fastest half-marathon was the 1:12:40 I basically jogged in preparation for the Marine Corps Marathon last fall. So I dropped 2 minutes off my PR. And I dropped almost three minutes off my time on basically the same course as last year. I knew I raced last year not at full strength, but still…3 minutes! Wow. I don’t really have much else to say.***** When I dream about races, they usually end badly, with some last-minute catastrophe keeping me from victory. The aftermath of this race felt, at times, like a dream. But I knew it wasn’t, because in the dreams I never win. Thanks to the Flying Pig for making my reality better than my dreams.

I spent the rest of this day, as you might imagine, sore, tired, bowel-troubled, but completely and utterly satisfied. I’ve been running seriously for more than 10 years now, but I think this is by far one of my greatest running accomplishments yet.******

Winner winner bacon dinner. 
Let’s close with some more time-traveling. Last year, in the log/blog of myFlying Pig performance (5/7/17), I wrote the following:

“But the main takeaway about this race, for me and for everyone who know me (especially those who may compete against me), is that this won't be my last half-marathon. Indeed, it was only my first. And now that I have the experience under my belt, I expect only to get better and better at this race. For I have now proven, to myself and to anyone who may have doubted me, that graduating from college was not the end of my competitive running career.
It was only the beginning.”

2017 Jack was right, in more ways than he could have known. My competitive running career has only just begun. And though I, for once in my life, actually did exactly what I set out to do, let no one think this means I am done. There are other races to run, and to win. Tennyson put it better than I could:
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro' Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades
For ever and forever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,    
To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!******* 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to shine in use.

Notes:

*The Flying Pig uses for its first three miles the last three miles of the Thanksgiving Day Race, the last race I ran in Cincinnati.
**I drank slightly too much water early on in the race, and I felt ever-so-slightly waterlogged, so I stopped with it early on and never hydrated subsequently. I also had to be careful not to grab Gatorade by mistake, which I did last year and which I think negatively affected me.
***The Flying Pig uses for its last two miles the first two miles of the Thanksgiving Day Race, the last race I ran in Cincinnati.
****My watch says the last portion of the race for me was .31 miles, and that I ran it in 1:32.71. So I ran 13.31 miles in 1:10:40 (according to it), which is 5:19 pace. Man, I need to work on those tangents.
*****Other than this: According to my preliminary research into past Flying Pig Half Marathon results, my performance today ranks 6th all time:
Tommy Kauffmann - 1:08:30 (2017)
Chris Reis - 1:09:09 (2009)
Todd Pthlek - 1:09:22 (2008)
Thomas Lentz - 1:10:02 (2007)
Mike Griewe - 1:10:36 (2007)
Jack Butler - 1:10:39 (2018)

The funny thing is I know three of these people.
******I still have a tendency, a holdover from running in high school and college, to think of my running career in terms of “seasons.” In that sense, the Fall 2017 and Spring 2018 “seasons,” and the 2017-2018 “year” overall, have been among my best ever for running:
Fall 2017:
-September: Navy Air Force Half Marathon: 1:12:40, 9th
-October: Marine Corps Marathon: 2:34:29, 15th
-November: Cincinnati Thanksgiving Day Race: 33:07, 4th

Spring 2018:
-April: Cherry Blossom 10-miler: 53:15, 46th
-May: Flying Pig Half Marathon: 1:10:39, 1st
Not bad!
*******Unless I’m just totally hallucinating, I think I quoted this part of the poem from memory to one of the news crews that interviewed me at the finish line.